Relationships can be fragile and bonds need to be built up and maintained to keep them healthy and encourage them to flourish.

But sadly, break-ups do occur. And when they do they are very stressful, often nerve wracking, sometimes frustrating and sometimes so devastating it feels like you have been run over by a Mac truck.

If you are involved with a relationship that breaks up you might well think that you want to get back at your ex. But is this really going to get you what you want? Hurting your ex might give you temporary satisfaction but YOU are worth more than that.

What if you could get more than temporary satisfaction and be even more influential? There are things you can do which will allow you to get back at your ex and also put them in an interesting predicament. It could also repair your relationship by showing your ex how important you were to them. So not only are these 5 tips to get back at your ex but they are also excellent methods for getting your ex back as well.

1. Be strong. You want to make sure that you are not doing any of the clinging, begging, desperate behaviours that are so common when a break up happens. Don’t try to chase them with frequent phone calls, or text messages or emails. No one wants to be around a desperate, needy person, even more if they have broken up with this desperate needy person. This is the time to be strong. Let your ex think that you have moved on just fine without them by acting strong and moving on. When you've moved on, your ex will realize that they have not.

2. Keep the amount of communication you have with them down, right down. Shutting off contact with them might seem to be counterintuitive when your primary focus is to get back at them or to rekindle things, but it is one of the most important steps when getting back at your ex or getting your ex back. Think about it from their point of view. They want you (even if just a little bit) to miss them completely - and some would like you to be devastated by their leaving you. But if you don’t respond as they expect, if you take a break from your ex and close off communication, then he or she will have to stew for a little while without any contact. This will allow your ex to clear his or her mind and realize how valuable your relationship was.

3. Be flexible. One of the most common ways of getting back at your ex is to go all rigid and demanding. And often people in broken relationships flip between begging and then demanding. But this doesn’t make you feel good and neither does it get you what you want. Do not be forceful with your ex, demanding that they move out, or pick their things up by a certain date (though don’t let them walk all over you either). Be flexible, be a listener and a sympathizer. Your ex will be surprised when they see this side of you, and it may inspire them to build the lines of communication that were lacking when the break-up came into play.

4. Get out and about! This is no time for you to be alone. And it stops you from letting them walk all over you while you are being flexible - you are showing them you have a life of your own. Call your friends and get out of the house. If you don’t already have one, develop a social network and enjoy some entertainment in your life. This may not mean you need to date, or even pay attention to the opposite sex, but you do need to be getting out and enjoying your time with your friends. If your friends aren’t available for any reason pick up on some long forgotten hobby and start attending meetings that promote that hobby. Not only will this be therapeutic for you, but it will also help convince your ex that they lost a gem.

5. Simply be yourself. There was a really good reason for why you and your ex had a relationship to begin with, so go back to being yourself and let your ex remember why they loved you in the first place. This renewed self perception of your own self will surely rub off on your ex as well.

If, after you have got a life of your own and you decide you like it then you will want to move on further and further on. Ask yourself over and over “What would further improve this already improving life that I have?”

If you decide you want to get back with your ex after all you need an overall plan - wanting to get back together is not enough, you need a full understanding of what you need to do next.

Does that make sense?

Have a PLAN!==> <<Look here for how to do it properly. >>

We want this to work for you.

HP
16 Feb 2009

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