Relationship advice is the place to come to if all is not well in your relationships or if you just want to learn how to get along better with a prospective partner.

Whether you are coping well with your situation or whether you are throwing chairs at each other, going into the sulks or self medicating the pain with alcohol and drugs, then now is the time to do some serious work on finding out how to improve your situation.

You might be aware that some couples have wonderful relationships and yet others always seem to have problems. He becomes too distant and unreliable. She can be clingy and a general nuisance to have around. Or any other mix of issues.

Fortunately there are people who have spent many years gaining experience who are now available through the internet to give their relationship advice to you. If you want an excellent quick start to improving your relationships check out some of Lee’s work. check out some of Lee Baucom's work.

You can find out a range of ways of doing things differently which you might not have thought of before that can have a huge impact on the quality of your life and you too can have the life partner you want.

However when we get stuck in a situation that seems out of control then it is easy to fall back into the way we have always done things. Here is some relationship advice to help you on your way.

Basically, if you keep on doing what you have been doing you will keep on getting the results you are getting at the moment. And if those results mean you are angry, frustrated, irritated, annoyed, feeling rejected, and or, any number of other negative emotions then those emotions can easily flood your whole body so you can think of nothing else.

Alternatively you can use your very strong negative feelings to find a better way to live your life. We show you how.

Having problems with relationships does not mean that you have to stay single, to separate or divorce. There are many alternative ways of coping with each situation and you will find a range of strategies, suggestions and guidance to provide you with some more choices in how you will deal with your own situation.

A good place to start is to know what you want - what you want, not what you don’t want. So if you come up with ideas such as your ideal partner should not be like one of your parents, then think of what the opposite might be.

“I hate the way my mother/father used to demean my father/mother and put them down. They always made out that they were useless and pathetic.”

The statement above could be changed to:

“I want my partner and I to be respectful of each other and to build each other up so that we will be much better together than we ever would be apart.”

Once you know what you want, then take some time out to think about what your partner might want.

I have never actually come across someone who wants to be miserable and in a bad relationship - though their might be someone out there. I would think, however, that such people would be pretty rare.

So now think about what your partner might want - in respectful terms - after all you would want your partner to be respectful of you, wouldn’t you?

So instead of calling them something like, clingy, or dependent, or manipulative, or sarcastic, or controlling, or… whatever it might be for you…

Think of how it might feel or be for them. Perhaps your partner knows few people and tends to be lonely. The “manipulative” person has found a way to get their needs met and you would want your needs to be met equally well. If someone is sarcastic then they are trying some unhelpful ways of trying to get their message across - so what is the message, and what important ideas are behind that message? If someone is controlling then what is driving that need?

And always, always, hold onto these ideas lightly, because you might not have “mind-read” them accurately. Check them out when you can.

The “clingy” person might not be lonely. She might have just come from a family that broke up because her mother was so independent that her husband didn’t like it and so as she grew up she thought she would be different to her mother.

The controlling male might have been brought up with the understanding that the male of the household looked after all the money and that is just the way it was. He might not intend to be controlling. In fact he might be controlling because he doesn’t trust himself to do the right thing by his family if he lets go of some of the control.

Or alternatively he might be controlling because he gets he feels his needs in other areas are not being met. Work might be difficult. He hates the long travel to get there. He has lost a number of good friends to car crashes, and disease and life feels out of control. Controlling at home is his way to deal with it all. For more suggestions on handling these issues Lee Baucom’s ebook is very useful.

For further ideas and relationship advice sign up for the mini-course on relationships. There is no charge for this.

HP
22 Jan 2009

 ↑ Back to Top